Different Dimensions....
Diverse teams make better decisions than homogeneous ones, are more creative, and handle complex challenges more effectively. Yet diversity can also spark conflict.
Understanding what it’s like to feel “different”
One way to deal more productively with diversity-related tensions is to understand what it feels like to be “different” – to be a member of the numerical minority or in a position of relatively little power.
In some organizations, members of the numerical majority (for example, white managers in an organization that employs few visible minorities) may hold prejudicial, deep-seated assumptions about members of the minority group. These assumptions can create a demoralizing climate of tension and distrust for minority members. Yet the managers (majority members) are unaware of this climate.
Understanding what it’s like to feel “different” in an organization can help all employees handle diversity-related conflicts more effectively. Here are a few examples of how minority members or people with relatively little power can be made to feel different by members of the majority:
“I feel like a token.” Some black managers suspect that whites can’t see past black’s skin colour. For instance, at a management retreat, a new hired African Canadian vice president of strategic planning meets key decision makers. They express no interest in her business expertise. Instead, they ask her to head up the company’s new diversity committee.
“I feel marginalized.” Racial minorities and women often feel relegated to the sidelines during important business discussions. For example, during a strategy meeting, Manuela, a department head, offers a suggestion for implementing a new competitive strategy. The room is quiet until a white male manager echoes Manuela’s idea. The CEO then expresses interest in the idea. Concluding that others aren’t willing to hear her thoughts, Manuela declines to contribute during future meetings.
“I feel I have to work harder to demonstrate my worth.” Managers who are members of the numerical majority can define expectations for others that feel demeaning or unreasonably stringent. For example, when the leader of a small team comprising employees with university degrees hires several qualified people who have only a high-school education, her boss begins requesting progress reports from these new hires that he’d never requested before. The message? “I expect your team’s performance to drop because some of the new staff have less education”. Though the newly configured team performs well, the leader feels worn out by the pressure to constantly defend her employees’ worth through meaningless reports. The following year, she accepts a position at a competing firm.
“I don’t fully trust you.” Sometimes members of the numerical minority doubt that their majority-member colleagues will support them if they make a mistake. So they avoid taking risks. For instance, at a business dinner, Carla complains to Anton, her new colleague, that “Homosexuals are always advocating their agenda.” Anton is gay, but has not told Carla about his sexual orientation. He decides to keep his distance from Carla – which hampers collaboration between their two departments.
Resolving the Problem
When diversity-related conflict arises, the person in the numerical minority may feel an intense need to be proved “right” about having experienced prejudicial treatment based on his or her minority status. Meanwhile, the individual in the numerical majority can experience an equally intense need to be “innocent” of committing an offense.
With such polarized needs, the two stand little chance of moving beyond the conflict. The following four steps can help you uncover what’s fueling diversity- related tension between you and another person and how you might interact more productively.
Steps to Resolving Cultural Conflict
Step 1: Reflect
If someone accuses you of prejudice, or you feel certain someone has shown prejudice toward you, pause to consider the facts of the situation and your goals before responding. Think about how the incident could help you achieve a goal that matters more than being “right.”
Step 2: Connect
Ask questions to better understand the other person’s behaviour and attitudes. Then share your own perspective. Explain how you felt during the incident, and ask the other person for their perspective. Mutual openness will diffuse tensions.
Step 3: Question yourself
Ask yourself how your desire to be proven right about a perceived offense – or proved innocent of offending someone else – might have distorted your view of the situation. For example, Sandra, a thirty-nine year old manager, succeeded fifty-nine year old Brian as CEO at a consulting firm. Brian, who remained as an advisor, told Sandra that her push to market more vigorously to women in their thirties was “unwise”. Though she initially took offense, Sandra asked Brian to elaborate. He expressed concern that Sandra’s strategy would narrow the firm’s market and alienate the current client base of older men. Sandra realized she needed to explain how her strategy would support the firm’s mission. When she articulated her reasoning – and demonstrated her commitment to retaining current clients – Brian saw the value in her strategy. The tension between them eased, and Sandra was able to move forward with implementing her new direction.
Step 4: Shift your mind-set
Ask yourself what changes you could make to improve your workplace relationships. For example, Richard, a French executive at a Paris-based consulting firm, was frustrated with Suha, his Egyptian business partner. Richard saw Suha as controlling and critical when they took on major new consulting engagements. Rather than trying to persuade Suha to alter his behaviour, Richard realized that the only thing he could change was himself. He initiated a conversation with Suha to learn more about his concerns. When Richard discovered that Suha’s behaviour stemmed from worry about the firm’s increasing workload, he agreed to shoulder more of the load. Their working relationship moved from prickly to positive.
The STOP Technique
Another proven technique to deal with diversity-related issues is the STOP technique. Diversity expert Lenora Billings-Harris has developed a four-step technique that you can use when someone is behaving in an inappropriate manner. It’s called STOP. Although it can be applied to almost any situation, she has designed it for dealing with diversity issues.
S: State the inappropriate behaviour objectively.
Tell the offender what needs to be changed in a specific, objective way. If you show your feelings, the offender will often respond with anger and denial, which will get both of you nowhere.
Example: “Bob, when you call my ideas retarded…”
T: Tell the offender how you feel when s/he performs this behaviour.
This is where you can add your feelings or opinions, although feelings are usually best so that this doesn’t become a debate. Make sure you stay as logical and unemotional as possible.
Example: “… it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel devalued.”
O: Give the offender options.
In addition to telling the person what you don’t want them to do, offer several suggestions for what they can do.
Example: “I would prefer that you use a different word, like silly or illogical. It would be even better if you could simply ask me to explain my idea further.”
P: Positive results.
Let the offender know what the results will be if they change their behaviour. Dale Carnegie states that in order to change behaviour, the person must know WIIFM (what’s in it for me?).
Example: “I really feel that this could improve our working relationship and our communication skills. I think our ads would be a lot more creative, too.”
Here are some tips for making STOP work for you.
• The first few times you use STOP, test it on a child when they act inappropriately.
• Plan out what you’ll say. This will help you identify your feelings, options, and possible results.
• When you talk to the offender, make sure you’re in private.
• Don’t expect miracles. If the person does not change their behaviour, you can try the process again until it does work.
• If the behaviour does not change and it interferes with work, bring it to your supervisor’s attention.
• If the behaviour does change, show appreciation as soon as you can.
Adapted from the PEI Cultural Diversity Workbook
Understanding what it’s like to feel “different”
One way to deal more productively with diversity-related tensions is to understand what it feels like to be “different” – to be a member of the numerical minority or in a position of relatively little power.
In some organizations, members of the numerical majority (for example, white managers in an organization that employs few visible minorities) may hold prejudicial, deep-seated assumptions about members of the minority group. These assumptions can create a demoralizing climate of tension and distrust for minority members. Yet the managers (majority members) are unaware of this climate.
Understanding what it’s like to feel “different” in an organization can help all employees handle diversity-related conflicts more effectively. Here are a few examples of how minority members or people with relatively little power can be made to feel different by members of the majority:
“I feel like a token.” Some black managers suspect that whites can’t see past black’s skin colour. For instance, at a management retreat, a new hired African Canadian vice president of strategic planning meets key decision makers. They express no interest in her business expertise. Instead, they ask her to head up the company’s new diversity committee.
“I feel marginalized.” Racial minorities and women often feel relegated to the sidelines during important business discussions. For example, during a strategy meeting, Manuela, a department head, offers a suggestion for implementing a new competitive strategy. The room is quiet until a white male manager echoes Manuela’s idea. The CEO then expresses interest in the idea. Concluding that others aren’t willing to hear her thoughts, Manuela declines to contribute during future meetings.
“I feel I have to work harder to demonstrate my worth.” Managers who are members of the numerical majority can define expectations for others that feel demeaning or unreasonably stringent. For example, when the leader of a small team comprising employees with university degrees hires several qualified people who have only a high-school education, her boss begins requesting progress reports from these new hires that he’d never requested before. The message? “I expect your team’s performance to drop because some of the new staff have less education”. Though the newly configured team performs well, the leader feels worn out by the pressure to constantly defend her employees’ worth through meaningless reports. The following year, she accepts a position at a competing firm.
“I don’t fully trust you.” Sometimes members of the numerical minority doubt that their majority-member colleagues will support them if they make a mistake. So they avoid taking risks. For instance, at a business dinner, Carla complains to Anton, her new colleague, that “Homosexuals are always advocating their agenda.” Anton is gay, but has not told Carla about his sexual orientation. He decides to keep his distance from Carla – which hampers collaboration between their two departments.
Resolving the Problem
When diversity-related conflict arises, the person in the numerical minority may feel an intense need to be proved “right” about having experienced prejudicial treatment based on his or her minority status. Meanwhile, the individual in the numerical majority can experience an equally intense need to be “innocent” of committing an offense.
With such polarized needs, the two stand little chance of moving beyond the conflict. The following four steps can help you uncover what’s fueling diversity- related tension between you and another person and how you might interact more productively.
Steps to Resolving Cultural Conflict
- Reflect
- Connect
- Question
- Mind-shift
Step 1: Reflect
If someone accuses you of prejudice, or you feel certain someone has shown prejudice toward you, pause to consider the facts of the situation and your goals before responding. Think about how the incident could help you achieve a goal that matters more than being “right.”
Step 2: Connect
Ask questions to better understand the other person’s behaviour and attitudes. Then share your own perspective. Explain how you felt during the incident, and ask the other person for their perspective. Mutual openness will diffuse tensions.
Step 3: Question yourself
Ask yourself how your desire to be proven right about a perceived offense – or proved innocent of offending someone else – might have distorted your view of the situation. For example, Sandra, a thirty-nine year old manager, succeeded fifty-nine year old Brian as CEO at a consulting firm. Brian, who remained as an advisor, told Sandra that her push to market more vigorously to women in their thirties was “unwise”. Though she initially took offense, Sandra asked Brian to elaborate. He expressed concern that Sandra’s strategy would narrow the firm’s market and alienate the current client base of older men. Sandra realized she needed to explain how her strategy would support the firm’s mission. When she articulated her reasoning – and demonstrated her commitment to retaining current clients – Brian saw the value in her strategy. The tension between them eased, and Sandra was able to move forward with implementing her new direction.
Step 4: Shift your mind-set
Ask yourself what changes you could make to improve your workplace relationships. For example, Richard, a French executive at a Paris-based consulting firm, was frustrated with Suha, his Egyptian business partner. Richard saw Suha as controlling and critical when they took on major new consulting engagements. Rather than trying to persuade Suha to alter his behaviour, Richard realized that the only thing he could change was himself. He initiated a conversation with Suha to learn more about his concerns. When Richard discovered that Suha’s behaviour stemmed from worry about the firm’s increasing workload, he agreed to shoulder more of the load. Their working relationship moved from prickly to positive.
The STOP Technique
Another proven technique to deal with diversity-related issues is the STOP technique. Diversity expert Lenora Billings-Harris has developed a four-step technique that you can use when someone is behaving in an inappropriate manner. It’s called STOP. Although it can be applied to almost any situation, she has designed it for dealing with diversity issues.
S: State the inappropriate behaviour objectively.
Tell the offender what needs to be changed in a specific, objective way. If you show your feelings, the offender will often respond with anger and denial, which will get both of you nowhere.
Example: “Bob, when you call my ideas retarded…”
T: Tell the offender how you feel when s/he performs this behaviour.
This is where you can add your feelings or opinions, although feelings are usually best so that this doesn’t become a debate. Make sure you stay as logical and unemotional as possible.
Example: “… it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel devalued.”
O: Give the offender options.
In addition to telling the person what you don’t want them to do, offer several suggestions for what they can do.
Example: “I would prefer that you use a different word, like silly or illogical. It would be even better if you could simply ask me to explain my idea further.”
P: Positive results.
Let the offender know what the results will be if they change their behaviour. Dale Carnegie states that in order to change behaviour, the person must know WIIFM (what’s in it for me?).
Example: “I really feel that this could improve our working relationship and our communication skills. I think our ads would be a lot more creative, too.”
Here are some tips for making STOP work for you.
• The first few times you use STOP, test it on a child when they act inappropriately.
• Plan out what you’ll say. This will help you identify your feelings, options, and possible results.
• When you talk to the offender, make sure you’re in private.
• Don’t expect miracles. If the person does not change their behaviour, you can try the process again until it does work.
• If the behaviour does not change and it interferes with work, bring it to your supervisor’s attention.
• If the behaviour does change, show appreciation as soon as you can.
Adapted from the PEI Cultural Diversity Workbook